Divorce can easily be one of the most challenging times in a family’s life, especially for the children. No matter what age they are, children often struggle to understand why their parents are divorcing, have a hard time adjusting to the changes that come with divorce and often resist those changes by acting out.
As a parent, you can help your child by being mindful of your actions and remaining calm and open to them. In addition, there are specific strategies you can use to help your child get through the divorce in a healthier, less damaging way.
Communicate
Keep the lines of communication open with your child. Be curious, not judgmental. Ask them questions and let them ask you because they have plenty of them.
Common questions kids have during divorce are regarding why the divorce is happening, and sometimes they wonder if there is something they can do to reverse the situation because they feel misplaced guilt, when in reality, parents should reassure kids that it has nothing to do with them.
Reassure them
Make sure you let your child know how much you love them and that, no matter what, you will always be there for them. Explain to them that a divorce is only between the two adults in a marriage, not with the children and that their parents will continue being their parents and loving them no matter what.
Avoid negativity
Even though you may have strong feelings—sometimes negative—for your soon-to-be former spouse, do not share those feelings with or around your child. Remember that, most of the time, children love their parents equally and do not want to hear negative things about a parent, especially from the other parent.
Keep a routine
Divorce naturally changes the family’s day-to-day life, but that does not mean you cannot maintain stability and routine in your child’s life. Do everything you can to minimize drastic changes and communicate early and often when changes do happen so your child feels secure and safe.
Divorce is a difficult time for everyone in the family, and kids often feel it the hardest. You can help your children by providing extra emotional support during this time, keeping the lines of communication open, maintaining routines and reassuring them that your love for them will not change.