No matter the reason a couple decides that divorce is the best option for their futures, parents will still focus mainly on the continued growth and maturity of their children after the family has separated. From negotiations centered on property division to the creation of a strong parenting plan agreement, the parents must complete much work during the divorce process. Unfortunately, the parents must continue to work together through their children for years and decades to come.
After the divorce, parents should remember several tips to ensure their co-parenting efforts do not go to waste, including:
- The children are not partners in your frustration: It is important to be honest with your children regarding family struggles such as the lack of financial flexibility, but it is wise not to use them as a sounding board. In other words, talk to your children, but don’t vent to them. Keeping your children neutral goes a long way in supporting both parents in the co-parenting environment.
- Support your former spouse in the eyes of the children: Unfortunately, parental alienation often starts unintentionally. While you might have hurt feelings toward your ex, you should never let that influence how your children see their parent. From unintentional reactions to direct verbal confrontation, your children will pick up on your negative feelings and begin mirroring them.
- Maintain as much continuity as is realistic: While the divorce will likely throw many aspects of your life into a tailspin, it is crucial to maintain as much continuity for your children as possible. From nourishing existing familial relationships to visiting the same favorite locations, minimizing change can ensure a smooth transition to co-parenting.
Even though the marriage might not have ended on the best of terms, it is crucial to keep you children neutral in their thinking. You must work with your ex to ensure co-parenting is productive and beneficial to the child for years to come.