According to some experts, couples are at their most optimistic and affectionate with one another right after they get engaged. It seems natural -- an engagement signals the beginning of something new, a journey a New York couple is undertaking together. It might seem counter-intuitive to discuss divorce at this time of celebration, but some experts suggest this could be the best time to discuss it.
Love and affection is never higher for one another than at the beginning of the engagement, as compared to the end of the marriage, when the couple's pain and heartbreak often brings out the worst in them. Rather than make important decisions about the dissolution of one's marriage at that time, its better to discuss it at the onset.
What are some things a couple should discuss? The first thing to talk about is what one is expecting from the marriage -- non-negotiable issues, such as financial transparency and fidelity, to issues that would change over time, such as careers and the amount of time being spent with one another. What would be a bad reason to get a divorce? Couples have difficulties during the course of their marriage, and outlining strategies of how to deal with those problems could be one way to prevent an argument from spiraling out of control. Similarly, an open discussion about what types of problems that would require discussion and focus to resolve and which would require counseling is a good place to begin.
A lot of insight can be had from a frank discussion about what each party would want from the other should the marriage come to an end. Who would live in the shared home, who would move out and how would it affect children are all some of the topics that could be discussed and possibly even be included in a prenuptial agreement. In fact, drawing up a professional prenuptial agreement can be highly beneficial.